


It's not you, it's me

by JehBeeEh



Series: I am under-prepared, but I am willing [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Very Mild I Promise, lots of softness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29369190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JehBeeEh/pseuds/JehBeeEh
Summary: "It was in the safe. There was an envelope with my name on it propped in front of a box. Read the note and here we are.""And you decided to just start wearing an engagement ring for fun?""And this is where I stop talking to you about it, until my fiancé is awake."
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: I am under-prepared, but I am willing [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136618
Comments: 25
Kudos: 190





	It's not you, it's me

**Author's Note:**

> Only 2 left after this one!! How has that gone so fast.
> 
> Thanks again for cheering and crying along with me with this one, Moody ;)

Steve had hated everything about how that battle with Loki had gone while it was happening, and he hated it all even more now that it was over. It had been a dozen or so days since, and every one had felt like torture.

There had been far too many civilian injuries for his liking, and two of his teammates had gotten injured. Clint’s leg was healing fairly well, but Tony was still in the hospital. Tony was still in a coma.

Steve hadn’t left his boyfriend’s side since he’d been brought in. To say he was exhausted was an understatement. He barely slept at the hospital, every minor change in the rhythm of the beeping machines or nurses coming in and out of Tony’s room startling him awake.

But today, he’d had to go back to the Tower and fetch papers for Pepper that were stored in a safe in the workshop. One only she and Steve could access in Tony's absence, but seeing as she’d been in Asia for the past 3 weeks, she couldn’t get herself. And Natasha had insisted he spend more than the 10 minutes he’d planned on spending there, so he’d indulged her.

He took a nice, long shower. Slept in his own bed for much longer than he’d planned to - he usually had trouble sleeping without Tony there. Got himself and Tony fresh clothing in case they’d need it. Everything was in order before he went back to the hospital.

“He’s still out?” Steve asked with a sad sigh when he came in.

“I told you I’d let you know if anything changed,” Natasha replied flatly, not looking up from a book she was reading.

“I know. Thanks for staying with him.” Steve made his way to the opposite side of the bed, navigating around the various tubes and wires so he could kiss Tony’s forehead. “Hi sweetheart, I’m back,” he whispered against Tony’s skin. He carded his fingers through Tony’s dark hair and gave him another kiss. “I really need you to wake up. I miss you.”

Natasha looked up just as he stood upright again and she narrowed her gaze on the hand that had just left Tony's hair. Steve shook his head and let out a long breath.

“Nat, don’t.”

“You can’t expect me not to ask,” she replied as if it was the only logical answer.

“Not talking about this with you until I talk to Tony about it. Drop it.”

She let out a frustrated huff before standing and putting her book away. They met at the foot of the bed where she wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.

“I’ll figure it out, you know.”

“If I only found it 12 hours ago, you won’t figure it out,” Steve chuckled humourlessly as they pulled away from each other, Steve flexing the fingers on his left hand - a move he'd repeated more in those 12 hours than he noticed. 

"It was in the safe Pepper sent you back home for, wasn't it?"

"You won't let it go, will you?" Natasha just let her head fall to the side and Steve sighed. "It was in the safe. There was an envelope with my name on it propped in front of a box. Read the note and here we are."

"And you decided to just start wearing an engagement ring for fun?"

"And this is where I stop talking to you about it, until my  _ fiancé _ is awake." Steve crossed his arms and smiled at her, a hint of sadness in his eyes.

Nat squeezed his arms and put on her most reassuring smile. "He's going to be fine, you know. He just needs a bit of extra rest. This doesn't need to be some over dramatic deathbed proposal, Rogers."

"Yeah, I know he'll be okay. Just not used to seeing him this quiet for this long. It's unnerving." They both laughed, before Nat turned to go gather up her things. “Seriously, Nat, thanks again.”

“No problem. You should try going home to sleep more often. For real, say the word and I’ll be here,” she reminded him as she threw her jacket on and headed out the door.

Steve took his seat by Tony’s bed again, tangling their fingers together. “I really need you to wake up, Tony.”

* * *

_ Steve, _

_ If you had to come in the safe, odds are something bad's happened. Figured you'd wonder why a very obvious ring box was hiding in here, so I thought I'd leave this with it so you didn't freak out wondering why it was here and who it was for.  _

_ I'm sorry I didn't have the guts to propose yet. Even as I write this, I hope you never have to read this, and I get to shred it because I've finally done it, or we had a good laugh at my expense. The only explanation is that I'm scared. I'm scared I'll mess up what we have, and I'm just too selfish to risk that right now. It's not because I don't love you or I'm not sure about this. It's always been you, Steve. I love you so much, it hurts somedays to think of how much I love you, and how much more it'd hurt not to have you in my life. _

_ Whatever happened, please do not doubt that I love you. Still, I'm really, really sorry you had to find this. _

_ Yours, Always and Forever  
\- T. _

* * *

It took almost a full week before Tony finally woke up.

Steve was relieved when he finally got to see Tony’s beautiful brown eyes again and hear his name on Tony's lips. It still took a few days before Tony was awake for more than short bursts at a time, but at least Steve knew the worst was behind them.

“Do you want something a bit more substantial for lunch, or still want just broth for now?” Steve asked as he looked at the list of possible options he could get for Tony.

“Not just yet,” Tony told him, his voice still rough from sleep and lack of use.

“No rush, just let me know when you want to add some noodles to that broth,” Steve smiled before leaning in to kiss Tony for the hundredth time since he’d been able to do so again.

They were quiet for a while, Steve texting Natasha one handed what he wanted for his own lunch as she insisted on dropping off food for him daily, his other hand not letting go of Tony's unless absolutely necessary.

“Steve?”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Steve set his phone aside and leaned against Tony’s bed. “Of course, anything.”

Tony looked at Steve a few breaths, as if he wasn’t sure where to start. “Are you mad?”

Steve frowned, confused for a beat before realizing Tony’s fingers were brushing against the ring on his left hand that already felt like it had been there forever.

“I’m not mad,” he promised him. “Wasn’t super thrilled at first when I found it. Or at least, that note... I might have been a bit upset, but I wasn’t mad. I think I was more worried we wouldn't get to see this through, you know?”

“I’m sorry.”

Steve shook his head lightly. “You have nothing to apologize for. One of us would have asked at some point. Not like I couldn’t have done it either. We don't have to talk about this now. You need to rest.”

“No, it's okay." Tony pulled the ring up and down Steve's finger, like he was placing it there himself for the first time. "I wish I had asked.”

“Oh yeah?" Steve had to questions floating in his mind. He decided he didn't need to rehash what Tony had written and instead, he smiled before asking, "What would you have done?”

Tony smiled back and Steve kissed the back of his hand. “That was one of the problems. I didn’t know what to do, or which option to pick. Part of me wanted to do something completely ridiculous, like one of those planes with the big banners. Another part of me wanted to whisk you away somewhere we’d be alone, just the two of us for a bit, and not tell anyone. Have something that was just ours for a change. On more than one occasion, I almost asked when we were doing something random like doing dishes or sitting and watching a movie.” Tony shrugged. “I made that ring for you almost a year ago now. The notes been there about 10 months. I was so scared I’d fuck it all up by proposing... I’m so sorry-“

“Shhh, sweetheart. No apologizing.”

Steve got up and helped Tony scoot over on the bed so he could get in with him. The nurses hated when Steve did this, but he needed Tony close – it was one of the things they’d both craved since before they were even officially dating – and right now, he needed to hold Tony in his arms. And, he’d gotten pretty good at getting in bed with Tony without messing with any of the wires, so the glares had diminished and been replaced with exasperated chuckles whenever anyone walked in on them snuggled in the small bed.

“I read the letter, Tony. I know you were scared, you don’t have to explain yourself. I promise though, this won’t be the reason anything goes sideways. And you could have thrown the box at me and said ‘hey, you wanna?’ and the answer still would've been a resounding yes. Might have laughed a bit, but it’d still have been a yes, sweetheart. I knew you were my forever a long time ago, ring or not. That's just a fact. We don't even need to get married. I'm not going anywhere.”

“I love you, Steve,” Tony murmured before kissing Steve’s cheek.

“I know,” Steve teased, returning the kiss on Tony’s forehead. “I love you, Tony.”

“I guess if you’re wearing the engagement ring it means…”

Steve smirked at him, flashing his hand up in front of them. “Is that what this is?”

“Asshole,” Tony poked Steve in the side, before snuggling in just a bit more, once again, grabbing Steve's hand and playing with the ring.

“Hey Steve?” Tony asked after being quiet for a few minutes where Steve genuinely thought he was falling asleep.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

Tony looked up at Steve, a bright smile on his lips. “You wanna?”

Steve laughed before pressing his lips to Tony’s ever so gently. “Absolutely.”


End file.
